Healing, Growing...

So much has changed in two years. Two years ago, when I left my ex, marked a new chapter for me. One of growth of mind, body and spirit. I have learned to face the traumas of my past and to begin to heal myself. I have challenged myself to rise above my fears and anxieties. I have striven to become more spiritually awakened. In two years, I have become a much better and much more grounded person.

And while I had to *want* to be better, want to heal... I couldn't have done it without all the wonderful people in my life. You know who you are! I love each and every one of you from the very bottom of my heart.

The things I had to heal from, some never knew about. For starters, my mother was - and still is - an awful person. She had been extremely abusive growing up, even to go so far as to nearly murder my sister one night in one of her countless drunken rages. She always allowed shady people around us kids. I have even been raped twice in my life by people she trusted. She was controlling and toxic. And I cut her out of my life as one would cut a dead limb off a bush. Moreover, I had to heal from my ex husband who treated also treated me terribly. Insecure with himself, he tried to force me into sexual acts that I could not stomach. He also abused me, as my mother had done. And when he hit me, I could take no more and I fled. ~ There is so much more that adds to the healing; this is merely a small summary.

There were a few people that my mother allowed into my life that were truly good people; angels sent to give me hope and protection, I am sure of it. One such angel has introduced me to a who tribe of wonderful goddesses. These wonderful women help to shape me everyday to be a better me, which I strive for every day.

I also have a wonderful man by my side now who has been equally, if not more, helpful in this new chapter of my life. He helped me to trust again. He has helped me to love fully again. He treats me like a queen. He has allowed me time to  begin my healing process and break out the protective shell that I had built over the course of my life due to the many aforementioned traumas. He cuddles with me and makes an effort to set aside time for us in the busy schedule he has to juggle. He tells me often that he's proud of me and loves me and he gets excited over the little things that are big things for me.