Bullying

      This is another topic that is near and dear to my heart. Bullying. As a lunch lady, I work with and see kids everyday Monday - Friday throughout the school year. I make connections with these kids, get to know them. But what I get to see is only a snap shot of their lives. There's only time for the quick small talk. "Hi, how are you today?" "Are you excited for the weekend?"

      I get to see them interact with each other, mostly. Yes, I do have "favorites", but that's only because I have developed a deeper friendship with these particular children than the rest. One little girl, for example, was having the worst attitude problem last year. Let's call her Colette. Colette was giving myself and my two coworkers a lot of trouble. I suspect that many of the adults she interacted with during the day didn't treat her with respect, which I believe also had to do with her race (Because yes, there is still a problem with racism in 2017). Colette is this adorable little girl, and she's black. From my observations, a black child is treated differently when they are having a bad day than a white child is treated. So I made it my mission to treat this little girl with all the respect and understanding that children need and deserve. After a few weeks, Colette's attitude did a 180. All she needed was to be treated like a person. And they way that she was treated was an example of adults not necessarily bullying this little girl, but not respecting her. Which in my mind, is borderline bullying. How are these children going to grow up to be well rounded adults when they aren't given basic human respect in the first place?

      Then I see kids bullying each other, and of course I step in when I see it. I saw a whole table of kindergartners bullying one boy at the table just because his reaction was funny to them. They were across the lunch room, and I could hear this little boy scream out to them to stop, red faced and crying. You bet your ass I gave them a lecture about bullying and then informed a teacher. These kids have to learn to respect each other. They have to learn kindness and compassion. It starts with the parents, honestly. Directly after the parents are those who are immediately involved with them once they are born (grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins...). If a parent is trying to set boundaries for their child, and an immediate relative ignores the parents to allow the child to do as they please anyway, then you are teaching that child that it is okay to disrespect Mom and Dad, and by extension, that it is okay to disrespect others.

      Kids need to realize that what they say hurts others, because then you get adults who are rude and disrespectful. We get adults who have no concern for the lives of others and continue to bully, mock, and make fun of those who are different. Different either because of continued bullying or other issues. "Safe spaces" are genuinely needed, and that is mocked and shit on. Why? We wouldn't need such places if people actually had compassion for each other. Why. Is. It. So. Hard. To. Care. About. Others. Why? Why is unconditional, universal love and understanding such a hard concept for people to grasp? I just read a story where a man stabbed his pregnant girlfriend, her cat, and himself over drugs. The comments section on the article were ridiculous. Those who were commenting cared more about the cat than the fact that the pregnant woman was stabbed. How is that okay? Why do they care more about the cat than a person? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love animals and believe they should be treated with all the love in the world. But to make jokes and judgement about the poor woman... "Why did she stay with him if he was abusive?" "She should have left. She must have low self-esteem." People, it starts from birth. They learn self-worth from birth. This all starts with the parents and the immediate family....

      People inflict self harm, suicide, because of the awful things that are said to and about them. Bullying is no joke. It causes mental and emotional damage, and that can be so much worse than a physical wound. A physical wound will heal, but an emotional/mental wound can takes years to overcome. Now this child who was bullied has self-esteem problems, they think lowly of themselves, and they very likely suffer from depression. It makes me so angry and sad to see people treat each other like shit. Where is your humanity, people?! Please... Treat each other with care.

      If you are a victim of bullying, I see you. I've been there. I know how you feel. In middle school, I was made fun of so badly that I cried myself to sleep and thought about killing myself every single night for half of sixth grade. I was called "E.T." and "alien" because my upper jaw was so narrow and my teeth over lapped each other. I got braces and was moved to a different school about halfway through the year, and my confidence began to blossom as I was actually treated with respect and started to make friends... And then I was moved again. This time, the bullying started up again. And it was never just bullying at school, either. My whole life, my mother bullied me and made me feel like I was the scum of the earth. And now I was at a school where even the teacher said that I "didn't want to be an author [my biggest dream that I am still working on] because they don't make any money". The cutting began in eighth grade on a beautiful sunny day. My mother had just said something awful to me, again. (Side note: my mother was never a good person. She hung out with bad people, one of whom raped me. She beat me, my brother, and sister with horse whips, belts, hangers... but her favorite was a metal spatula. When I would actually find the motivation to do my school work, she would say "You aren't going to do that anyway, so just go clean the barn." She nearly stabbed my sister one night (my sister was in fourth grade) in a drunken rage, and it was unusual for her to be home instead of the bar on any given night. That's just the tip of the iceberg. So no, I am not being "a typical kid" in regards to my mother.) So I had bullying at home, bullying at school, and those thoughts of self hatred finally boiled over. So I began cutting. I never received help for my depression. I had to figure it out on my own. I get it. I know how you feel. I am here for you. I love you. You are important and incredible.

      If you are a bully - stop. Ask yourself why you are bullying others. What are your insecurities? What do you need to work on? Apologize to your victim(s), and if you don't have the guts to do it face to face, write a sincere letter of apology and give it to a trusted adult or individual to deliver it. I understand, you're stressed, right? Overwhelmed? Need to feel like you're in control? Stop. There are much healthier ways. I urge you to speak to a trusted third party whether that be a counselor, friend, parent, anyone who would help you on your journey to self improvement. I believe in you. You have every capability to be a beautiful person that spreads love and understanding. You can do this. I love you. I believe in you. I see you.

      I send you peace and unconditional love. It is up to you to spread it through the world like wildflowers.

Healthcare and the Christian God

I was told today that healthcare is not a “God given right”, but that it would be perfectly acceptable if it were a “government given right”. I disagree with the first point, which in turn affects the latter. The first affects the latter in this way: a majority of the people in the U.S. seem to think that this is a Christian nation (which it absolutely is not), and therefore it is nearly impossible to seperate church from state as it is supposed to be in all subject matters in regards to the law. Given that there are a lot of suffering people, not only in the U.S. but also the world, I can say that I am truly heartbroken by this kind of rhetoric since a majority of the people use their religion as a scapegoat to get out of helping those in need. Before I go any further, allow me to clarify something: I am not currently a Christian, but I was. I renounced my faith for personal reasons as outlined in one of my earliest posts. Now, let’s continue onward.

Have you ever noticed that a majority of those that call themselves Christians are some of the worst people? Those are Sunday Christians. They do what they want, then attempt to pray it all away at church just so they can do it again all over. This is the wrong way to go about religion. *Side note: if your religion excuses your hatred, bigotry, greed, and pride, then you need to find a new religion. End note.* I am very fortunate to have met a few really amazing Christians who truly read, comprehend, and carry out what their holy book says. And that is beautiful; it gives me hope that we will be able to work together for a better tomorrow. I am truly grateful for them and am happy to call these kind hearted people friends.

So let’s tackle that “healthcare isn’t a God given right” thing, shall we? A quick Google search brings up many links on this topic. Let’s take a look at some.

Matthew 10:8-11 ESV

“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. Acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics nor sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food. And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart.”

Now this looks super familiar to me, and anyone else who has read Utopia by Sir Thomas More (that book was written in 1516 when people were devoutly religious and went to church, so God is referenced many times in the book). In the land of Utopia, people were allowed, with a kind of passport and permission, to travel freely between towns and stayed very much like that mentioned in the verse taken from Matthew. It is very clear here that Jesus and his followers believed in helping those in need without receiving payment except for a place to sleep and food. What else do you need if your necessities are taken care of? Clothes can be sown and they could find a good walking stick on their journey if they needed one. The verse above can be summed up as such: Healthcare is free. It is a God given right.

Luke 14:13-15 ESV

“But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, ‘Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!’”

This is not directly related to healthcare, but it does say to be welcoming and accepting of those who are sick. It says to treat them as equal. It says to be loving and kind, despite the fact that they “can’t repay you”. To do anything else would be to deny that which one claims to believe. Do not be greedy. Help those in need. Open your hearts as Jesus opened his for you. That is, if you have chosen to believe in him. If not, that’s cool, too.

Matthew 9:9-13 ESV

9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. 10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Mercy, not sacrifice. A little backstory to this particular verse: Jesus had just told the paralyzed man to get up and walk. To the amazement of the crowd who saw it, the man did indeed get up, pick up the mat he had been lying on, and walked home. Did Jesus say, “Oh, sorry. I can’t heal you, because you’re broke”? No. He simply did it, because it was the right thing to do. Notice also, that Jesus said that he has not come for the righteous, but the sinners. In my personal opinion, the word “righteous” has a negative connotation to it. Those who think they are better than others or don’t have to contribute to the common good are often those who think highly, or righteously, of themselves. Therefore, they are unable to accept constructive criticism and suggestions on how to better themselves. Whereas “sinners” in this context sounds more like people who know they could be better and just need some guidance. So… Are you too good for betterment, or are you ready for some guidance?

Deuteronomy 15:7-11 ESV

“If among you, one of your brothers should become poor, in any of your towns within your land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart or shut your hand against your poor brother, but you shall open your hand to him and lend him sufficient for his need, whatever it may be. Take care lest there be an unworthy thought in your heart and you say, ‘The seventh year, the year of release is near,’ and your eye look grudgingly on your poor brother, and you give him nothing, and he cry to the Lord against you, and you be guilty of sin. You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake. For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’

Need I say more? This. This right here says to give fully out of the kindness of your heart. This addresses a whole slew of problems. If someone needs something, you should give it freely. In this case, we are talking healthcare. People need health care. People get sick; there’s no way around it. Why do we then deny the needy treatment? If they are unable to pay, the common consensus is to let them be sick or let them die. Why is everyone so concerned about money? It is a failing system that should be abolished. (And as in previous posts: No, I will not give my money to anyone simply because I don’t think it should be used. I will continue to use it until we can come to a better agreement in the realm of our currency. To do otherwise would be foolish). We as humans should care about and for each other. If you are Christian, do you not believe that your God is the embodiment of love? Does he not call you to be like him? So God must be a hateful, bigoted, and prideful, right? If you are truly the body of Christ, he must not give a shit about anyone, right? Because that’s not what I learned. I learned that as the body of Christ, we are to help everyone in need. Jesus was a humanitarian, and his true followers are few and far between. Don’t say you are Christian if you won’t be kind, if you won’t be loving, if you won’t help those who need it.

I believe that healthcare should be 1) free, and 2) that it is indeed a “God given right”. Please, if you are going to believe one thing, study the book you’re referencing. This doesn’t even cover when Jesus healed a blind man with his spit (Mark 8:22-25) for free. This doesn’t cover when Jesus raised a girl from the dead and healed a sick woman on his way there (Mark 5: 21-43) for free. When he raises his friend Lazarus from the dead (John 11:38-44) for free. And so so so many more. He never demanded payment. Simply to go and do for others what he had done for them. Spread the goodness and love.  

Get Back Up

      So I went on this amazing bike ride earlier today with my love. My boyfriend loves bike riding and has this really nice road bike. I bought a new bike last year so that I could join him on his long treks on back country roads. Why not? I love nature. I know how to ride a bike and love doing so. He insisted on a helmet, which I thought was silly. I haven't fallen off my bike since I was first learning how to ride! I'll wear a helmet for horseback riding, sure... But I got the helmet anyway to appease him. Next were the shorts. The tight ones with the padding on the butt for added cushioning. Even with that added cushion on the butt of the pants, my butt still looks fan-freaking-tastic! So, I got the new bike, the helmet, and the fun new shorts that make my butt look awesome. But there was one more thing he suggested I get... New shoes and pedals with clips.... To lock my feet... To the pedals.

      Um... What?

      Yeah, that sounds pretty scary. What if I need to stop quickly? I'm going to die! Well, Today, we went on our first long bike ride together. Things were going great until we reached this hill. Coming up from behind us was a huge dump truck! My love was leading, and he was slowing way down. So slow that I almost ran into him and thought he forgot to signal that he was stopping. I fell. In the middle of the road.... With that dump truck coming straight at us. That was scary shit, let me tell you. Fortunately, I survived. (Obviously, or I wouldn't be writing about it). However, I now have a giant purple bruise on one knee, a huge knot on the other, and my palms are a bit scraped up.

      Man, those clip in pedals mean business!