Invalidation

     So I'm feeling invalidated. I know I am not alone in this. You get people talking over you, interrupting you, or just flat out ignoring you. You feel like a doormat. You feel unappreciated. You don't feel like you really matter. It's not a nice feeling, that's for sure. And it's not like it only happens once every once in a while. No, that would be tolerable. It happens every single day, multiple times a day. It wears on you. It hurts. It's eroding your emotional and mental state of being until all that's left is a hollow shell of who you used to be. You get angry, and those who wronged you in the first place are blaming you for being angry at being used as a doormat. So you bottle it up and just deal with it the best way you know how: try to be invisible. SO you get home, and then what do you do with all that bottled up frustration? Nothing. What can you do? This, however, is not healthy.

     I can tell you some things that help me cope with this. At first, I would try to shove it down further and forget about it the best that I could. But that was just a disaster. Now, I step back, take a deep breath and look at it objectively. I ask myself questions to try to analyze the situation. I try to understand the other person better. Why does this person feel the need to speak over me, interrupt me, or just ignore me? Did I do something to trigger this? What are they going through? Granted, this doesn't always work, and I still feel angry and upset. Exercise has also helped me. I have also found that smudging my apartment does wonders to lift my mood.

     In the end, however, you really just need to find a way to get yourself safely out of that situation. That kind of mental and emotional beating wears on you after a while, and that's not good. Depression and anxiety may start to creep in. And those lead to whole messes of other problems that are a pain to get rid of. I also look at each situation I find myself in as a learning experience. What can be learned from this situation and my feelings? Ultimately, you have to do what's best for you.

     Much love to you all!

Mother's Day

     So Mother's Day is this Sunday May 14, 2017. This means that you're either a mom who requires a much needed break or that you have at least one woman in your life whom you need to celebrate. Mother's are special. They are heroes. They work hard to make sure their babies have everything they need. 

     How are you celebrating the Mother in your life this Sunday? You may be among the many people who are having trouble deciding what to get your Mom or the Mother of your children for Mother's Day. Some suggestions include: clean the house, cook dinner, get the kids dressed and fed (LET HER SLEEP IN), etc. For you single Moms, you are most definitely a rock star! You do this day in and day out with at least one job to keep your kids clothed, fed, and make sure they have a roof over their heads. That is incredible, and you deserve to be treated, too! 

     For those of you who still aren't sure what to get that Goddess for Mother's Day or for those of you who do this all on your own, I have a special going on until May 21, 2017. Buy one Reiki session at full price ($50 USD) and get a session free. 

     But what exactly is Reiki?

     Excellent question! Reiki is the use of Universal Life Energy to promote relaxation and healing on an emotional and spiritual level, as well as a physical level. In essence, it is a form of energy healing. 

     I offer sessions over Skype. A Reiki session typically lasts about an hour. Please note that it does not replace the medical care of a doctor, but rather works in harmony with traditional care. If you want to know more or want to set up an appointment, contact me on my Facebook page: Reiki Healing by Ashley.

     Happy Mother's Day!!

Revising School

School: something everyone is required to participate in. However, it does much more harm than good. We need to stop treating students like they are all the same, like they all have the same learning styles. No, students are unique and need to be treated as such. The school system is broken with too much testing and not nearly enough learning. We’re forced to memorize things that float out of our heads as soon as we select the answer on the test and then do it all over again. This is not making us smarter. Education needs to be tailored to the learner, not to government testing.

“Oh, but that’s unrealistic. How are we going to tailor learning to each student,” ask the naysayers.

Well, we have currently standardised testing. Instead, it should be a test to see how each student learns in each particular subject. This test should be in middle school so that all the basics are learned there. Then, when they move to high school:

~Freshmen students ought to learn things like how to budget a bank account/check book and by extension, how to budget for bills and necessities (basically money management in general). They should learn basic cooking skills and housekeeping skills. They should learn basic maintenance of a house, how to fix a small electrical problem, small plumbing issues, etc. Health class is really important here: now we should be learning about mental illness and other important things. Extensive reproductive education is also very important. A physical “education” class should also be in place every semester until graduation, except there should be options: yoga, swim, walking, running, weights, zumba. Let the students try everything until something sticks. This is very important for mental health as well as physical.

~Sophomores should now choose a field of study or career path that they are interested in and take classes specifically tailored to that choice. This on top of all the basic knowledge classes so they get lots of practice before actually heading out into the real world. Add a recreational class of their choosing in which they are learning something that they really have an interest in. Expand the mind. A new subject may be selected every semester until graduation.

~Juniors should shadow someone in their career choice (if one is chosen). Also, learning how to write proper resumes should now be introduced as well. Still keeping up with all the learning of how to function as an adult (though this should now be limited to maybe one class a day rather than the whole day as it is in the Freshman model).

~Seniors should start volunteering and becoming aware of social issues that plague their area. Such as homelessness, hunger, environmental, etc. Volunteering will help them become well rounded on an emotional/spiritual level and learn to have empathy for their follow human beings. They should also now have a pretty good idea of adult life and should be looking at apartments if they choose not to go to college (because there is nothing wrong with not going to college if it’s not for you!). If they aren’t actually going to move out right at first, then it’s at least important to know how to go through the application process of apartments. Now is the time to start applying all of that basic knowledge and taking the leap into adulthood. Fly, little birds! Chase your dreams!

Obviously this model needs some work, but it is so much better than testing our youth to death. Seriously, we don’t take that many tests as adults. How many of us actually remember anything we learned from high school? It’s ridiculous. And yes, I hear the naysayers again, “Shouldn’t the parents do all of that?!” Why, yes, yes they should be doing that. However, how many of them actually know how to do all of that safely? How many parents are even home? Today, both parents have to work just to keep a roof over the family’s head and food in the fridge. So let’s teach the kids how to do this stuff in school so that they can properly function as adults.

It takes a village.